Why do I do this? Why do I put myself through courses like Living Druidry? Why do I stick to daily practice and invest time in all this spiritual stuff? What’s the point?

All my life I have had this longing, this yearning to feel connected. When I was younger, I wanted to always feel my connection with God, to always have part of me open to him. As I grew older, and my concept of the Divine changed, that longing changed into a desire to be awake and aware, to be conscious of the life I am living with every breath. And that is why I do this. To feel the connection. To make love to this life, this aliveness in all things that is beautiful and precious to me. Every time I take a break from my life to feel that connection again, I work towards feeling it more acutely, and more consistently.

Mind you, feeling it consistently is not easy. Being very awake and feeling all those threads of connection with Spirit in all its forms can be overwhelming. I can’t yet do it for very long. So a few breaks in my life each day, just to re-connect, are necessary. Because this is what it is all about. Surely the point of life is to live it, as fully as we can.

A couple of months ago I had this thought: if Death came for me now, what would I like her to find me doing? The answer was simple, and powerful. I would like to be found making love to life. Perhaps under a tree, feeling its life force rising through me. Or perhaps enjoying a meal with my husband, savouring every bit. Or maybe dancing to the heartbeat of the earth. All of those would be great times to die.

If that is so, I had better make sure that my life is filled with such moments of intense connection. And that is why I do this. That is why I make love to life whenever I can.

A place to come home to. Somewhere to curl up warm and sleep while outside winter reigns. A place where treasure is gathered and appreciated. Tracks lead here, none come out. Read the rest of this entry »

I have come home. Here at the edge of a calm sea, apples ripe in the tree, the gulls wheeling overhead and a fire burning inside. Home. The place where my heart belongs. Read the rest of this entry »

The castle looks quite close – I could virtually touch it. Surely it can’t be much further to go? But then I notice the path winding down into the valley and up the steep hill and I feel disheartened. Read the rest of this entry »

She is imprisoned inside that castle. She is held within its strong walls, beyond a closed gate, behind a palisade, out in a deep lake, at the end of a narrow, slippery bridge. I need her to be free so I can truly live. Read the rest of this entry »

In the clearing by the sacred symbol stone I stand. Just being here awakens all my senses. I feel the joy of being alive on my skin, and I can smell it in the resinous air. I can see its vibrancy and taste it in everything around me. Everything is alive and so am I. Read the rest of this entry »

Here under the trees I have created a home. Here is where the hearth fire burns. Here is where nourishment is found. I offer them freely to al who seek a home. Read the rest of this entry »

Standing by the shore, at the edge of a cliff. Feeling the power of the rock rising up through me. I stand tall and strong. I will weather the storm. Read the rest of this entry »

I have come to the place of truth. This place could easily kill me, like it did the men whose heads top the palisade. So here I am, so close to it, within touching distance of my test. The horror is total, and it seems that there is no turning back. I feel paralysed. Read the rest of this entry »

This project needs to be finished. It is time someone did some serious work on this. The sun is just rising, so there is time to do it today. It is no use postponing this any longer. Read the rest of this entry »

It is not my time. I thought I had achieved something wonderful, but now it lies spilt. Clumsy, I knocked over the chalice with the precious liquid. And now I have to start again. Read the rest of this entry »

So fast! I ride on the current of my enthusiasm. It is exhilarating but beyond my control. Many ideas come. I am flowing. Read the rest of this entry »

Stuck here. Stuck on this very small tussock, alone, damp and cold. There is no way out. There is no way back. I am lost and without hope and so, so afraid. Will I die here? Read the rest of this entry »

Boundaries are like dry stone walls. Sometimes part of them falls down and needs re-building. We need to maintain them, because they are what keeps us safe from intrusion. Read the rest of this entry »

I have come to this castle and I can see the glamour. Is this a castle disguised as a fairy mound, or a fairy mound disguised as a castle? Read the rest of this entry »

The fortress is ancient and fallen to ruin. Still, I feel something important is hidden here. But the spear blocks the gateway. It stands sentinel, guarding a deep secret. Read the rest of this entry »

I am in the water. I am being swept along in a strong current. I am drowning. I am sinking. I am too disorientated to swim. Will this be the end of me? Read the rest of this entry »

A fire roars at the centre of a stone circle. The stones receive heat and light from the fire, but also reflect it back to the centre and to each other. Overhead, the stars of the Great Bear shine. Read the rest of this entry »

Water gushes from an ancient burial mound. It is caught in a wide basin and overflows, forming a stream into the world, flowing to the place where I am standing. The blessing of the Ancestors flows to us freely. Read the rest of this entry »

The Sun rises. In the valley, mist lingers. A path climbs up a man-made mound, and at its top another sun rises: a flag is raised in celebration of my victory. Read the rest of this entry »

It has been tough going through the undergrowth. But here is a stream and a boat. All I have to do is loosen it from its moorings and let the current take me. Read the rest of this entry »

The rain is beating down on this bleak stony landscape. Life is hanging on, but everything seems hopeless and designed to make us feel despair. There is nothing left. We are stripped naked before the elements. Read the rest of this entry »

We set out with high hopes and a lot of enthusiasm. But now the wind has been taken out of our sails. We’re not getting anywhere. It has become impossible to move. All we can do is wait until the wind blows again. Read the rest of this entry »

Sunrise on the chosen day. The spears stand ready to be crossed in battle. I have to fight my corner. Accepting the fight is the only honourable thing to do. Will my honour defeat my fear at this moment of choice? Read the rest of this entry »

The battle was hard and bloody. I fought as bravely as I could. But we have been defeated. We have lost our home and our land is burnt. All we have now is ashes. And I can’t help thinking I could have fought more bravely… Read the rest of this entry »