For years now, I have know that I have a calling. I could feel the goddess tugging at my bones, asking me to be hers, to be her priestess, for want of a better word. For years, I have struggled to work out what that means, day to day. What does a priestess actually do?

I did all kinds of things. I went on training courses and attended workshops. I worked tirelessly to make myself a more spiritual person. I longed to be a bridge between this world and the world of spirit, a guardian of the gateway. I dreamed of teaching people how to find their own connection with the Otherworld, and with their sources of strength and inspiration. And still I could not work out what I had to do each day to get me there.

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“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

Just as I was planning a quiet summer with plenty of time to contemplate and reflect, to do some DIY that could help me practice remaining present with everyday tasks, life surprised me. I heard of a part-time vacancy at the adult education college where I do my language teaching work. It is a great place to work, with friendly people who I already know and respect. And it is a step up in my 18-year teaching career. It gives me the job security and the kind of structure in my life that I have never had but that could potentially be very good for me. I’ve spent a lot of my time this week working on my application.

But still I am conflicted. If I got that job, there is a real danger that I would let that 3-days-a-week job take over all of my life. It would be hard work, and I would have to do some of my teaching on top of that. So it could easily turn into a 4-day-a-week job with a 5th day where I feel tired and don’t get around to doing much, and a full weekend of social commitments. Which would leave no time for my relationship with my goddess. The devotion she is asking for would wear very, very thin.

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