Being open to the wonder of every moment without straining, without making it into a big thing by calling it a ’spiritual practice’ and making it something to strive for and do perfectly is a big challenge for me. Just letting go and being in the moment, open and relaxed, is not something that comes to me easily. But the course of my life these last few months has made it easier to see a way. Read the rest of this entry »

These last couple of weeks, I’ve been practising effortless wonder. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m OK at the wonder part, but the effortlessness leaves a lot to be desired.

Because of my questionable health, I have been paying more attention to my breath and the ways I am holding my breath and my muscles. I have discovered that I really do an awful lot of holding on and holding in. I put a lot more effort than is necessary into the simplest things, like washing up, or typing, or even just breathing. I seem to always be bracing myself against some unknown and unexpected disaster.

There are events from my childhood that explain a lot of this. But this strategy of self-defence that I learned three decades or more ago, is no longer serving me. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s a large contributing factor to making me ill. It is time to let go. I need to literally let go of all this tension. Read the rest of this entry »