Full Flower Moon (better late than never!)

I can't even begin to tell you how beautiful it is. Just looking out of the living room window, I see the young green of ash reaching for the sun, the white of cow parsley against the beech hedge, different blues of lungwort and forget-me-not interspersed with oranges and pinks. There is a buzz of insects pollinating it all. And just for today it is drenched in warm sunshine. It makes my heart sing. It makes my soul stretch. I love it.

I finish my daily meditations with a prayer that explicitly asks for the blessing of the elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water on the mineral, plant, animal and human realms. I give that blessing with such love, but every time I speak it into the wind, my heart breaks a little. Because I know that all across this beautiful planet these things are being violated, day after day.

The powerlessness that I feel in the face of tar sand and shale gas extraction, the felling of rain forest trees, the relentless extinction of animal species, and the injustice done to our fellow humans outrages me. The more beauty I see, the less ugliness I seem to be able to take. I want to go and stand on a mountain top and shout: 'STOP. Stop it now.'

We seem to be riding a great, unstoppable machine of destruction that is tearing this world apart. And it is tearing at my heart as it does so. I want to smash this thing with my bare hands, make its noise just stop, so we can hear each other weep and realise there must be another way.

The other day, a Druid friend posted an article on Facebook. Here is a quote:

"Think of the world you carry within you. Only be attentive to the stuff that rises up and makes you tremble with ferocity. That violent, destructive chaos that makes you want to annihilate the universe and then turn around and re-create it (let there be light!)—set this energy above everything else you experience and observe about you. This passion is worthy of your entire love."

• Kirsti Stout, 10 Wicked Morsels for Living a Sexy Life.

This is exactly the kind of rage I feel. I love the living Earth with that much passion, and I want to stand against what destroys it with the power of annihilation and resurgence.

This is what I have chosen to dedicate the rest of my life to. I am here at Westacre to create an example of how it can be done differently. I'm here to show the world ways to connect deeply with the green spirit of the land. To show people how to make changes in their lives that will allow them to live more lightly on the Earth.

Our collective effect on the natural world is larger and more disastrous than we even imagined. What I am doing today may be far too little, far too late. But it is the right thing to do, and if it comes from such passion, it is worthy of my entire love.

Two more articles I read this week say the same thing in different ways:

• Get Apocalyptic: Why radical is the new normal by Robert Jensen
• The Retreat and the Return: the eco-hero's journey by Sharon Blackie