For years now, I have know that I have a calling. I could feel the goddess tugging at my bones, asking me to be hers, to be her priestess, for want of a better word. For years, I have struggled to work out what that means, day to day. What does a priestess actually do?

I did all kinds of things. I went on training courses and attended workshops. I worked tirelessly to make myself a more spiritual person. I longed to be a bridge between this world and the world of spirit, a guardian of the gateway. I dreamed of teaching people how to find their own connection with the Otherworld, and with their sources of strength and inspiration. And still I could not work out what I had to do each day to get me there.

During one of my recent 'What-does-it-all-mean-who-am-I-what-am-I-supposed-to-do?' crises (I have them quite frequently), I did a tarot reading to show me the face I show to the world, the face I would like to show, and my true face. It was an enlightening reading. It showed me my true face as a young person full of questions, and the face I want to show to the world as a much older, more mature and dependable teacher and guide. The reading also showed me how to get from where I am now to where I want to be.

The answer is: give yourself a chance to be enchanted. If I want to be a guardian of the gateway between the worlds, it might be useful to actually go to the Otherworld on occasion. Even at the risk of getting caught in fairyland and spending a lifetime there, actually finding my way there and back is part of my training, of who I am called to be.

I have of course done my journeys and meditations and worked with my dreams and my spirits. These posts are full of those stories. But I have not done it consistently. I have shied away from travelling to the Otherworld and feeling its magic, perhaps because I was afraid that it isn't true anyway - or that it is. I avoid opportunities to be enchanted because I am so risk averse that I think every castle is a fairy hill to get caught in, or that every fairy hill is just a castle, in the air or otherwise.

How will I ever know magic if I don't let myself explore and even get caught a little? How can I strengthen my relationship with the world of spirit if I don't let myself play with the spirits of the garden and the woodland? How can I be a priestess if I don't let myself meet my goddess, soul to soul? So what if I come back a little pixillated and smelling of fairy dust? I have to actually go to the Otherworld if I want to be its guardian.

So that's what I have been doing, these last few days. I have taken opportunities to play with the world of spirit, and to explore the magic of walking between the worlds. I have touched the purifying power of the elements and walked along enchanted paths. I have had tea with my inner teacher and met my goddess face to face. And at the same time, I have sorted out some really practical things in this reality and cleaned my house. It feels great, as though I can see the path ahead for the first time.

The answer is simple. I need to let myself play and explore. Aren't the simple lessons always the hardest ones to learn?

---With thanks to my friends, in this world and the other.---