Feeling my roots solidly held by the earth, and allowing my spirit to be held by my inspirers in the grove, I am slowly beginning to find peace inside myself. It will take me some time before I manage to identify with that peace consistently. So far, I have learned that this place of peace is not a small, walled-off part of my that I can retreat into. It is in every part of me, in every cell, in every fibre.

I can rest there, and that is wonderful. It refreshes and calms me. And it is the only place of rest in a world that is constantly flowing. If I want to live, I need to become part of the flow. Here is my working theory:

I am supported and held by the earth, and by the ancestors through whom the life force has been passed to me. The earth and the ancestors constitute the material part of me. The food I eat, the life force of the land that I live on, the DNA that makes up much of who I am provide materials that I can use to shape my life.

Inspiration comes to me from the spirits of my inner grove. They bless me with images and dreams, another stream of life force that shapes my soul. They provide the mould, the blueprint of what my life can be.

These two streams of life, from below and from above, meet in me. These two streams are ever-changing, ever-moving. The images that come to me are a constant stream. The earth's flow seems slower, but it changes too, and my body changes with it. I am constantly receiving gifts from both of these streams. The combination of these two: the gifts of my ancestors that are pass to me and the unique inspiration that is given me combine to make me who I am.

I can't hold on to the life force that flows through me. I am part of the flow, the perpetual dance of life that dances through every cell of me. The only thing to do with what is given to me is to let it flow out again into the world. I can use the material of my body and my genetic make-up, and allow it to be moulded according to the inspiration that comes to me. The result is a creative life that is a gift to the universe.

This is what we are meant to be as human beings. Sadly, it isn't always that simple. Through our life's history, and through the challenge of living in a body, I have built up many blocks and hang-ups that impede the clear flow of the life force through my being. Over nearly four decades, I have built dams and hurled rocks into the middle of the stream. But these things just are. I can work with them, let the life force run across and through them, let them be worn away. In the end, even these things are not permanent but just a part of the flow of life.

This is what I have learned in the last few weeks, despite of or perhaps thanks to all the stress and tiredness. Now my challenge is to practice it. I am tentatively watching all that comes to me: food, friends, bird song, everything, as well as everything that flows from me: these words, the meals I cook, the lessons I teach. My aim is to consciously step into the stream of life and let it flow through me, given direction by the spirits who inspire me.

Watch this space...