It is the time of Equinox, equal day and equal night. Now, the balance tips towards darkness, and winter will follow. Even now, the leaves are beginning to colour scarlet and gold, and there is a definite nip in the air. I'm warming my hands on my cup of tea.

For me, time is going way too fast. The work in the bungalow is steadily advancing, but much slower than I would have hoped. I'm sure it'll all feel a lot faster once we get to actually putting in bathrooms and kitchens. For now, though, the new run of pipes makes me very proud of my husband, but it doesn't look any closer to being a house someone can live in.

The frustration is very real. And often I feel powerless to make a difference and help things along. And I also feel powerless to move my own projects forward. With my life hanging between places, it's not easy to stay focused. It makes me angry, and I want to lash out. But I can't do that. The people who I'm most likely to lash out at are the ones doing the work to make it all happen.

My instinctive solution to this kind of thing is to push it all down and hope it goes away. And I can tell you, that is a Bad Choice. All that pushing and holding in makes my shoulders sore, and my stomach uneasy. It isn't good for my health.

Thankfully, my friend Cilla Conway and her Devas showed me another way. Just a week ago she gave me a reading with her Tarot and Deva cards. The cards spoke about feelings frozen, about sorrow for the past, about anger that needed to be expressed. No surprise there. Her suggestion was for me to write it out, every day. To meet and face those difficult feelings on the page, expressing them and working with them in a safe way.

I have been doing this for a few days now. I just reach for the feelings and write down what comes to me. The imagery is, of course, not pretty. But it goes deep. My dreams have been clearer and more frequent than for about a year before. And the combination of dream and writing points towards a bright light pushed down by a lot of darkness. A light and a darkness that have been known to me for all of my life, and by my Ancestors before me.

So, as the year turns towards the dark, and towards the time when we honour our Ancestry, I am guided to honour their suffering by expressing it and at the same time stepping into the light.

My week has been so much better than the last. I feel lighter and more able to do the things I need to do. And all of that because of words blurted onto an empty page. I feel grateful.