Isn't it weird how everything goes around in circles? I seem to always have to learn every lesson many times, repeating the same thing over and over. And I know I'm not the only one.

Last week's OBOD Lughnasadh Camp was themed for the inner child. I loved the idea. I was looking forward to letting my hair down and allowing myself to play a little. That's something I don't usually do. Playing is something I have found quite difficult for a long time, and I was hoping to learn, easily and joyfully with my friends on the field.

But of course that's not what happened. Instead of going out to play with her friends, my inner 8-year-old got into a strop and hid in the caravan for a day. I felt miserable, was convinced  that nobody liked me, and felt like I had no place in this group of people. I ate a lot of chocolate biscuits that day, and they are not good for me.

The interesting thing was, though, that I could see myself doing it. That never happened in the past. Before now, I would have been convinced that this was basically true, and that I was the only person on that field to feel inadequate and lonely. But instead, I recognised it, I watched myself throwing this inward tantrum and I knew it was a lie. This is not all of me; it's only a small part of who I am. I couldn't get myself out of it, though.

So I called on a friend and gave her chocolate in return for her listening ear. I told her what was going on in my head, told her that I knew exactly what was happening and why. And just the telling, to a kind and understanding person, was such a relief. That one conversation got me out of my strop virtually instantly. Recognising and voicing my inner child's pain stopped me from having to learn that old lesson the hard way yet again.

Two days later, I was lying in the grass on a damp field with a friend, pretending to be unconscious druids and being water pistoled by a posse of less than sympathetic children all dressed as pirates. So I did get to play, and to watch others play. And it was balm to the soul.