Steps on the Pathway of Transformation

Why did I ever think that it would make sense to write the steps on the Four Pathways in order, one by one? Life isn't that well ordered. And the flow of inspiration takes twists and turns like a river through a landscape.

Over the last couple of months, I have been working on my healing. I had another bout of ill health in June, and needed to find a new way of being with my body, with my physical pain.

I sensed intuitively that I needed to learn how to listen deeply to the signals of my body. I needed to find ways to let my body teach me what choices to make for health and balance.

Unfortunately, that's less easy than it sounds. I have spent most of my lifetime hiding away from my feelings and from the signals of my body. Listening too closely was painful, and I often got the sense that staying with these sensations would pitch me into an overwhelming flow of difficult emotions.

Over a lifetime, I learned that the world is not to be trusted. Things may seem OK right now, but they can turn around without warning and come and bite you. A friend's betrayal long ago. A parent's chronic illness and frequent admissions to hospital. No wonder my world felt wobbly.

So the first thing I had to learn was trust. I had to let myself believe that in the end, all will be well. The Earth will always hold me in unconditional support. The Sun will always shine its light through the cycles of the seasons.

Slowly, I started to relax. I let myself trust. But soon, I came up against another problem. Me.

Like every other human being, I'm not perfect. There are a few things about my make-up that can irritate me. I don't perform well in big groups of people. I tire relatively easily. I fear conflict and avoid it at all costs. Just to give a few examples.

But if I want to listen to the messages of my body, I need to listen to those signals too. They are my teachers. They show me without fail where balance is to be found. My personal balance lies in close relationship with one or two people. It thrives in quiet environments where I get plenty of rest. Fear shows me where my boundaries are, and once that is clear, I can choose how to act: by putting up defences (avoidance is one of those) or by stepping outside of my comfort zone.

All these things are part of me. And over the last several weeks I have discovered that accepting them, appreciating them, and loving them for the guides they are, does more for transforming me for the better than any attempt at wilfully changing them ever did.

Along with acceptance of these parts of myself I once labelled irritating, came the acceptance of other aspects I wasn't necessarily comfortable with. Those parts of myself that shine and sparkle for all to see, because I'm passionate about them. Those flashes of power that are made up out of my best talents, which are also my greatest vulnerabilities.

Self-acceptance demands that I gently hold the dark corners of my soul, but also the bright ones. Somewhere between my fear and my passion, I am connected to my gods, my land and my community. And in that collective, I am truly powerful. Together with all the beings, human, spirit, plant and mineral, who support me through my life, I am fully human, my greater Self.

Accepting all that has allowed me to step up and offer something I dearly love doing in service to my community. I am holding my vulnerable self gently and allowing my bright self to shine.

This is quite a transformation, and these last few weeks have just been the tail end of a process that has taken many years, and will probably have its wobbles in the future. But this is the essence of the work on the Path of Transformation.

Here is a little ritual to get you started.