I feel immensely grateful and privileged to be part of a very special spiritual community. We are a pretty random and ever-evolving group of Druids who camp together four times a year, at the major festivals. Every camp is different, but each one offers challenges and opportunities for healing.
This time, I went to camp with a flood of woes dammed up inside me. It was my intention to find willing ears to pour it all into. On arrival, I told everyone I was not OK. And I wasn't.
The Westacre project is a wonderful thing. It teaches me so much and I am proud of how much we are doing to reduce our impact on the Earth. But it's also very challenging. Large projects like this never go the way you planned them, and this one is no different. Sometimes I fight the everyday reality of it. Sometimes it's stressful and frustrating.
Meanwhile, I am putting my heart and soul out on the internet, hoping to engage people. I am having a very hard time getting them to talk back to me. It's like slinging my heart over a big blank wall and waiting for something – anything – to come back. It rarely does.
To add insult to injury, my chronic tummy problem got quite a bit worse just before camp. Usually, I manage to ignore it. Not so much now. It's asking for attention. It's reminding me that life is unpredictable and cannot be controlled. Another source of stress.
Before I even had the time to find people willing to listen to my rant, the magic of Camp happened. Ana Adnan took us on a Grail Quest in a guided meditation and it instantly cured me. I was given the answer to my frustrations and a way to proceed.
To start with, the journey gave me the things that build an ego: a career, a lover, a coveted possession. But like Perceval, when I came to the Grail Castle, I was so full of myself, talking so much about my own adventures and concerns, that I forgot to ask the crucial questions that would have brought healing.
On our return, we were each offered a drink from a cup and asked another question: who do you serve?
My realisation was instant: the building project, my struggle to build a business, my very life. None of these are about me. What I need to do is ask questions, make relationships, find out how I can serve. My answer was: I serve the intricate web of connections that makes up life.
And so I am taking my first steps on a path I should have been travelling for some time now. I am listening to the spirits of my home as I wash up and clean. I am asking questions of my social media followers and get to know them personally. I am listening to my heart to see which connections are calling to be given extra magic.
It's not about me. It's not about what label I give myself. My life, all our lives, are about the blessings we can give to the web of connections that keeps all of us alive. We are called to serve every expression of life so it may thrive and flourish.
Held securely by that spiritual family, transformations like this are common. Supported by a tribe, we can find the courage to shift our centre outside ourselves and find a life of service.
(Picture: The Damsel of the Sanct Grael by Dante Gabriel Rosetti - Wikimedia commons)