Maiden New Moon

As Galadriel says at the beginning of the Lord of the Rings movies: “The world is changed. I can feel it in the water, I can feel it in the Earth, I can smell it in the air.”

I did my sunrise meditation among snow flakes today. Suddenly it has gone colder, after weeks of very mild temperatures and incessant rain. The daffodils are many centimetres high all around the Westacre garden, some of them with flower buds.

The seasons seem to have given up any pretence of order, and we now live in a perpetual ‘Sprautumn': never very hot, never very cold, moving from Spring straight into Autumn without stopping for Summer.

Climate change is probably the biggest cause of uncertainty in our world today, although there are many other shifts and upheavals.¬†Under the circumstances, it’s hard to find solid ground. If even the Earth, that source of solidity, stability and strength, is changing, what can we trust?

I have the same struggle in my inner life. Due to my dad’s illness, my world was full of uncertainty and unpredictable upheaval. I grew up with very little trust in life. I could never be sure that things would be OK in the morning. On top of that, I was bullied at school and had a long time friendship end in betrayal. I could not trust my world, or the people in it.

Even now I have difficulty trusting. Somewhere deep inside, I never quite believe that I am safe.

A month or so ago, I decided to really work on this trust issue. Since then, I have been visualising my inner Sanctuary. It is a place deep inside of me that is protected by stone and earth and by the power of my Goddess. Here, nothing can happen to me. Here, I am safe. I feel that sense of security and breathe it through my body, sharing it as a blessing with my surroundings.

Today, at the New Maiden Moon, I am ready to play with this new feeling of safety. It is time for me to test its strength. Can I trust that, no matter what, everything will be OK. Can I trust that I will be strong enough to see the Westacre project through? Can I deeply believe that I will be safe, even if all the work takes much longer than we had hoped? Can I feel safe, no matter how unpredictable life gets?

In the deep of that Sanctuary, I find the truth about myself, which is the truth about all of us: I am connected to All That Is. I am held by the great Web of Life, that reaches to the farthest star. I am part of the great wave of Being. No matter what, I am safe.


Do you have your own inner sanctuary? Where do you go when everything around you is shifting and shaking? Where do you find stability and strength? Please comment below.

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  1. Circe Santaniello said,

    12 January, 2013 @ 2:41 pm

    I had an internship as a hospital chaplain for a while and part of my job was to make people feel safe. I wondered how on earth was I to help someone feel safe when they were in the hospital or terminally ill? This whole concept was a challenge for me. It came down to not feeling alone, connected, and being safe, OK, in that particular moment. Your last sentence up there reflects that. Nice :)

  2. hilde said,

    13 January, 2013 @ 7:24 pm

    Thank you for that comment. Feeling connected to the great Web of Life certainly helps to know we will be OK in the grand scheme of things. A lot of people speak of a belief that ‘everything will be all right’, no matter what happens to them.
    I still have difficulty finding that amount of trust, but I do believe that this is true.

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