I always knew this was going to be a tough time. Once Alex stopped working full time, everything was going to change. And lots of change is not something I naturally deal with very easily. I like predictability and routine.

In the last couple of weeks, Alex has been making a start on renovating his dad's new bungalow, while I have been working in London. I don't think I've ever slept in our bed alone this many times in the last 15 years. We've also been putting the finishing touches on our new web site. Renovation works are complicated, technology can be frustrating, and we're both learning on the job. We will be moving between Harrow, Westacre, and various other places in England and abroad, between now and early September. And once that web site is announced to the world this afternoon, there is no more escape: it's all getting very real.It all makes things quite stressful for me. Renovation works, changes to my routine, learning new skills, being separated from my husband, delays and changes of plan, starting up a business. Any of those things would be enough to make me jittery and unsettled. Having it all happen at the same time really does me in.

Trouble is, this is what life is going to be like for a year or two.  So I guess I'd better get used to it. Time to bring to mind some of those valuable lessons I've learned in the past year or so.

It's time to be very gentle to myself again. This is not a time to beat myself up and think I could do better, be stronger, work faster. Somewhere inside is a very scared little girl who just wants to be held and reassured. And I can do that, with the help of my Ancestors, whose parental love and comfort flows to me, wave after wave. Gently does it.

Things always change. If there is something I learned from my sudden illness last year, it is that you can't predict what is going to happen to you from one day to the next. Ever. The only thing that is constant is the peace of the present moment, and the presence of Spirit, of my Goddess, at the heart of it. These last few days, I've had to ride the edge of big emotions to find my way to that still centre. But I can trust that it is always there, always waiting for me to return.

Spiritual practice works. Deliberately and faithfully setting aside time to find that presence is so helpful to me. Back in October, it brought me back from pain and fear to a little bit of stability. Enough to build on and begin to heal wounds in my soul, even if my body still carries pain. And that is what I am going to have to do now as well. I have to absolutely insist on time to meditate, preferably outside in the morning and in my room before bed, but I'll make do with anywhere, and just once. But this is what gives me balance, and I can't make it through the stressful times without.

So, here we go: Publishing that web site tomorrow. Having loft insulation installed in Harrow on Friday. Off for a weekend in Norfolk on Saturday. Then a few days at Westacre getting quotes and music and helping with the bungalow. Followed by - well, hopefully there will be a Lughnasadh camp to go to. And that's just the next couple of weeks. Gently now. Gently does it...