These last couple of weeks, I've been practising effortless wonder. I've come to the conclusion that I'm OK at the wonder part, but the effortlessness leaves a lot to be desired.

Because of my questionable health, I have been paying more attention to my breath and the ways I am holding my breath and my muscles. I have discovered that I really do an awful lot of holding on and holding in. I put a lot more effort than is necessary into the simplest things, like washing up, or typing, or even just breathing. I seem to always be bracing myself against some unknown and unexpected disaster.

There are events from my childhood that explain a lot of this. But this strategy of self-defence that I learned three decades or more ago, is no longer serving me. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's a large contributing factor to making me ill. It is time to let go. I need to literally let go of all this tension.

I dream of a life for myself, and for all beings on this planet, that is open to wonder. A life that is brimful of gratitude for the beauty that surrounds us. I wish for us all to be daily renewed by wonder. But the tension that I hold in my body, and that many of us hold in this stressful life, is closing me down. I have, built a barrier against pain that is also a barrier against the deeper colours of beauty. What I need in order to let this barrier drop is a fundamental belief that I will be OK. I need to believe that the Web of Life will hold me, no matter what.

In order to thrive, I need this essential trust. So I went looking for it. My ancestors and my guiding spirits showed me many images of my true power. It was a journey filled with beauty and light. Eventually I came to the guide who teaches me, and I asked him if these images meant I would be OK in the end. His answer was another question: "How many people do you think get images of their own power as beautiful as this?"

I didn't even have time to feel flattered. The answer to that one is instantly clear: everybody, if only they would care to look. For some reason, this insight that everyone, and indeed every living thing (and I have a broad definition of 'living') is filled with that same powerful beauty, helps me feel safe. It allows me to relax into the threads of the web and know that it will hold me.

It also allows me to see each human being I meet as a peer and potential partner in the work of blessing this world. There is no longer any need to guard myself against them, or in some way compete with them. I can open my heart in wonder to the miracle of each life, human and otherwise. I can relax, and believe, with Julian of Norwich, that "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."