Cauldron

I always knew this was going to be a tough time. Once Alex stopped working full time, everything was going to change. And lots of change is not something I naturally deal with very easily. I like predictability and routine.

In the last couple of weeks, Alex has been making …

I am so tired. We had an epic pilgrimage across England this weekend. Most of it in our blue Landrover that we affectionately call the TARDIS (it's a big blue box and it growls - hence). It really was an adventure, with trials of mismatched locks and keys and punctured tyres …

I've just spent a few days with my mum in Belgium. And I learned something about my dad I never quite realised before. If my dad had had the chance, if he hadn't had to give up all of his independence to Multiple Sclerosis, he would have been an organic …

In Harrow, my roots are well established. I know the texture and feel of the earth. I am acquainted with the spirits who guards the land, and I intimately know the spirit of that soil. I call her the Mother Clay. She is generous and forgiving, she holds and nurtures …

Today is Westacre Day minus 200, and this week exciting things have happened. Things to make me dream and plot and plan and really get into the spirit of things.

I bought two books about permaculture and related things. One is huge and scary and implies that I need to …

The flowers in the garden were just waiting for some warm weather to show their colours. In the last week we've gained elder flowers, roses, and yellow flag irises. And those buttercups shine their golden faces to the sun. This is what I call the flower tide of the year …

Things have been slacking a bit around here. Ever since I got back from that awesome OBOD camp, my spiritual practice has been lacking in consistency. Especially getting out there on time in the mornings before work has been hard.

So I promised myself that after last night's new-moon-with-solar-eclipse, I …

Imagine camping in the rain, in a muddy field, for a cold week late in April. Sixty odd people living closely together, seeking shelter from the wet. Imagine a central fire that turns into a central water feature after 36 hours of incessant rain. Imagine sucking mud, and boots that …

One of my passions in life is ritual. Couldn't do without it.  Being in a Sacred Circle, present to every movement of Spirit, balances, heals and inspires me.

Ritual. It's an interesting word. It has a certain flavour to it, heady and dangerous. I resisted the word for years, preferring …

Here is the truth: sometimes I lose my spiritual connection. It usually happens when my routine is disrupted for some reason. Going away from home always does it. Going to stay with my mother in Belgium for a week always stops my spiritual practice dead. Being without my usual room …

An important part of my soul resides at Slieve na Calliagh in Ireland. I have only been there once, but I met my Goddess there and over the years it has become a place I visit regularly in meditations and journeys.

Slieve na Cailliagh is a passage cairn that is …

"And suddenly the bull looked at me. With the innocence of all animals in his eyes, but also with a supplication. It was a complaint against the inexplicable injustice, an appeal against the unnecessary cruelty."

This photo and a version* of this quote have been doing the rounds of Facebook …

A week or two ago, I was watching a TED talk about tar sands mines and the damage they do. It wasn't easy viewing. And it depressed me. I know that, for the good of us all, and not least for the good of those ancient forests and wetlands and …

In my last post I wrote: "the essence of me is Spirit, is Goddess. Everything else is history, ancestral or personal." That of course applies to all of us, to every living being. Our essence is Spirit.

Which by no means trivialises history. All of us carry the history of …

There must be something in the air around Valentine's Day. This last week or so I have been pondering love. Love for myself and love for all beings. And love for the particular beings that I share my world with.

It all started with my preparations for the Big Adventure …

Winter has just started. Over the last week or so, it's been properly cold for the first time this winter, and it is actually snowing outside. So of course it was today that our OBOD seedgroup celebrated the first festival of Spring.

With the Winter so far having been very …

Being open to the wonder of every moment without straining, without making it into a big thing by calling it a 'spiritual practice' and making it something to strive for and do perfectly is a big challenge for me. Just letting go and being in the moment, open and relaxed …

These last couple of weeks, I've been practising effortless wonder. I've come to the conclusion that I'm OK at the wonder part, but the effortlessness leaves a lot to be desired.

Because of my questionable health, I have been paying more attention to my breath and the ways I am …

As we begin to plan for the Big Adventure* in detail, this is a year of dreaming for us. As well as the aspects of insulation and heating systems, I also dream the life I wish to lead once we move in to our new house. I dream details of …

At this darkest time of the year, I feel empty. Taken apart piece by piece, and scoured clean. After four months, I am still in pain, and many things that I once identified myself by are gone. I feel suspended, hanging by a single thread. Waiting for the tide to …

While doctors are scratching their heads over what exactly is wrong with me and what to do about it, I am living with constant pain of varying intensity. The uncertainty about what is causing it and what to do or avoid to help myself get better, or at least no …

What was the incident that told me, as a young child, that I was not good enough? I certainly don't know. All I do know is that from a very young age I didn't feel like I belonged with the other children, that I was somehow not like them. That …

Three days after I wrote the last post, so full of plans and hopes for the future, I was in hospital with an acute attack of pancreatitis. I am told that's one of the most intense kinds of pain known to man. The doctors don't know why I had the …

Something big is happening. I can feel it. Something fundamental has changed this year. It's like a chrysalis of my life is cracking and a butterfly is about to come out. That's how big it feels.

I have learned so much in the last six months or so. First there …

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Chinese proverb

So often, I feel a painful tension in my shoulders, a hardness in my jaw, and a clenching in my stomach. Until recently, I would have said that I don't know where all this tension …

I have been too busy. To my own horror, I realised that this is the sixth weekend in a row that I'm not spending at home. Somewhere, between training courses, visits to my mother and spending time with my tribe, my routine got lost. And I very much need my …

Well then, here it is:

If any of you are planning or dreaming about a ceremony to mark a significant milestone in  your life or that of your community, or simply as a celebration, I am available to help you put it together and hold the space or officiate on …

Just a few days ago, a number of realisations happened in quick succession. If I can hold on to them, I may have reached something of a breakthrough.

Much of it came from a very powerful conversation with my counsellor. I started seeing her in the summer, specifically to work …

There is a reason why traditionally people would go outside and bang pots and pans at the time of an eclipse to scare the shadow away. These moments of alignment between Earth, Sun and Moon always have an uneasy feel for me. There is a little chaos out there, as …

It feels like I’m not doing very well at the moment. Tiredness has overtaken me. It is the dark time of the year and I do not have enough time to rest. So the tiredness creeps into the weaker parts of my body, causing pain. It creeps into my …